The New Abode

We're in.  2 weeks and counting.  Have the children been neglected and left completely to their own devices over the past month?  They absolutely have (Dude has mastered Lego Star Wars on XBox) and Squirt has learned sign language through the iPad, but we're nested, unpacked, de-boxed and feeling at home in our new quarters. Sorry kids,  all our hard work just didn't leave time for playing with you, but thank goodness for a week long visit from Nana and Papa.  They saved the day in major ways.

We've never purchased a home that needed TLC like this one did.  Given the killing we made on selling our house, which was almost ridiculous how smooth it all went, we had the funds to put some sweat equity into the new house.  We're blessed to say the very least.  After 2 weeks of managing 9 grown men scraping ceilings, re-texturing, painting every single inch, laying new floors in four rooms, adding lighting, replacing lighting, filling in unnecessary holes in the walls, stretching carpet, cleaning carpet and shopping like a crazy woman in between all of that, I learned a bit about acting as a general contractor.  Secret - I kinda loved it.  I don't have issues with being bold and bossy (with a sweet smile and free food of course).  Tim spent every night here for 2 weeks working his little fanny off.  Like a champ.  We're indebted to some rad dads who volunteered their time to help us out with electrical work, laying floors and the actual move.  Of course we didn't hire movers.  I'm married to Tim.  Have you met him?

After numerous requests for photos from far away friends, here they are.  I wanted the walls and surfaces adorned before I captured our new space.  We're still in awe that God has given us this treasure to call our own.  There's so much to love.  The quiet dishwasher for example.  We can converse while it's running.  Blessed doesn't describe how we're feeling in this home. There's nothing "house" about it.  It's all "home."  Home sweet home.  Our home is your home and you're welcome any time.

Before and Afters:

Living room.  This is one of three fireplaces - this one is gas, which the children think has a magic torch lighter buried inside.   

 View from the living room into the kitchen space.

 My sweet, cozier than cozy office space.  It's a step down from the front family room and leads into the living room.  I have my very own wood burning fire place, which in theory is charming.  It will never get used, but that's ok.  The builder refers to this room as the "conversation nook."  And now you know where you can converse when you visit our home.

The front family room is our tv watching space and Enzo's favorite spot to be a lazy dog.  

 

 The entry way.  The bottom floor is a complete circle, this hallway being the middle route through the circle.  

 The powder room was given a face lift.  The octagon floor might have been a bear to lay, but she sure is purdy.  

 The mud room leads to the FOUR car garage and includes a door to the right leading to the back yard.  It had really attractive dirty brown carpet before we moved in.

 Perhaps my favorite 4 walls in the house.  The play room was an addition with the fourth garage stall back in the day.   It was gross green with an obtrusive 1972 heater jetting out of the wall, so we gutted it.  The door shuts, it's out of the way, but close to the kitchen, and the children are loving it.  Done.

 This little man is started to get into his groove here.  Uprooting him from what's comfortable isn't exactly a cake walk, but we're getting there.

 I've always dreamed of a little coffee bar.  Well, for the past year since I started drinking coffee I guess.  

  Dine with us, play games with us....this is the space.  My chandelier friend does a fine job of welcoming our guests doesn't she?  This space was pea green.  That didn't suite our fancy, so we upgraded to this yummy gray blue, added crown and the light.    

 Upstairs bath was also given a gut job.  The purple counter top is about to see her last days, but we're certainly enjoying her while we can.

 100% sweetness.  I might have had the most fun decorating my diva's room.  It's massive and has the most fun architecture to it, starting with a long hallway to enter.  She's right at home here.  If only she and the dog didn't each vomit all over the floor already.  

 

Tinkerbell paid Squirt a visit one night.  

 Dude is loving his Star Wars room.  He has a new (from Craigslist of course) loft bed with a cozy reading corner underneath.  Nana decked out his ceiling, galaxy style.  That massive ball of white on the wall is his "Death Star."  This decal took me 45 minutes to peel off, so please take your time in appreciating its awesomeness.

 The master underwent the most change.  New floor, new closet doors, canned lighting, ceiling fam, and the massive window in the sitting area was filled in.  Yes, there was a window that looked down on the front family room.  Non-nonsensical. 

 The hole lived where the book case and frame are sitting.  The children would have met their deaths if we kept the hole.

  

The kitchen garden window will eventually be turned into an accordion window that opens into a serving area for the back patio space.  For now it's filled with ghost lights from Nana.  

 We spent 3 hours this weekend trimming back overgrown bushes.  Lots of them.  The yard is smaller than our last yard, but the massive covered patio more than makes up for that.  Next Spring the landscape will get much needed TLC.

 Papa hung our festive lights around the patio, which I LOVE.  Sitting out there in the rain is dreamy to this Mama.  

 The front space was another draw to this house.  It's massive and nicely shaded.  We painted the doors a happy shade a blue and one of my girlies gifted us with the fantasticly awesome wooden "home" sign on the left wall when we moved in.  Happy.  

  

PRE-K - Nearing the Big Leagues

This is our last year of having a "little school one."  Once they enter Kindy land, they exit that phase of being teeny in my Mama mind and become a grown upish school kid.  So, I'm trying to cling to this 3 half day schedule and squeeze her tight the 2 I get her to myself.  After we move and settle in I'll actually be able to do that successfully.  She's been back in full school swing for 2 weeks now and is loving the letter "L" and talking about different forms of gas, including burps and toots.  Miss Ellen is a rock star and we're loving her already.  Miss Molly, Squirt's red headed half, is in class with her this year, which is both a blessing and a bit frightening for Miss Ellen.  We didn't do it on purpose Miss Ellen. I promise.  

  

 "Get outta here with the kiwi dress."  That's what I thought when I found it on the rack for $8.

Side note...Dude is having a GREAT start to the year.  I guess it pays off to leave well enough alone and let the handsome devil be himself with no added help from Mom.  He's rising to the occasion in rather amazing ways and we couldn't be more proud.      

Roots

I don't love the zoo and it's rare that I agree to load up house and home into the mini van/bus and pay the sticker shock fees to get it, but this past Friday turned out to be a zoo appropriate day.

Reason #1.  It was under 80 degrees with a nice breeze flowing through the fecal smelling air.  When it's over 80, the fecal odors gets stagnant and my tolerance for the heat, mixed with poop is unreasonably low, meaning my patience for the littles isn't stellar.  Not a fun outing for anyone.

Reason #2 (and the significant reason).  Squirt's birth grandmother and her birth mom's identical twin sister came for a visit.  Our first visit since she was a wet, slippery newborn.  Tim and I did spend a large chunk of time with both the grandma and sister(s) in the waiting room the day of Squirt's birth and grew to greatly appreciate and respect Squirt's grandmother.  She's a hard working, single super woman who has busted her hump trying to raise 3 girls and make enough to survive on.  She supported the adoption 100% from day one and acted as one of our biggest fans, which is an amazing feat of trust. We met her mid-pregnancy when we took Dude for the first ultrasound and that was enough for her to stay on board with her daughter's selfless plan to place Squirt in our arms and provide the life and support her birth mom couldn't offer her.  Grandma didn't have it in her to start all over and we have always respected that reality.

So, the visit.  Jo (we'll just call her Jo) emailed a couple weeks ago, letting us know that she was finally able to take vacation time and wanted to drive through Denver for a visit.  Would we be interested in seeing her?  Without a doubt we would.  We will always bend over backward, quite literally, for the opportunity to spend time with Squirt's bio family.  It's a relationship all of us deserve to have and will be better for as a result.  Tim and I took Squirt to the zoo and arranged to meet Jo and the twin sister at the gate.  To the zoo's credit, it was the most idyllic spot for this type of meeting.  Lots to see, lots of distractions, plenty of opportunity to talk and walk and watch Squirt be a four year old little monkey.  We greeted with hugs, talked about my new hair color as an ice breaker, we all stared at Squirt for a minute while she ran around nervously and then it was like we were old friends. Like family.  There was nothing awkward or uncomfortable about the 3 hours.  Squirt had a fabulous time and Jo and the sister treated her casually while happily observing her gallivant around the zoo.  We talked about who Squirt is and how's she's similar and not at all similar to her birth mom.  We talked about Squirt's beautiful birth mom and where she's at in life.  We talked mom to mom about this stuff and my heart broke as Jo poured out her Mama heart about a daughter who blessed me with my own.

Tim went back to work, we all hugged good bye and Squirt and I jumped into Gus the Bus to head home.  We all know it'll be rare that we see each other and that's okay.  There's an underlying connection through our blond haired, blue eyed, chocolate hating, dancing queen that makes us family.  I don't hesitate to call them family.  I never have.  And at the same time, I drove home that day with a helplessly broken, aching heart.  My heart resides with our birth moms and the brokenness of their connection with our kids rips me apart.  I want them in our story so much more than they can be.  I want them to know us and to know their first borns and to see how amazingly perfect they were created to be.  I want them to have the opportunity to see their role in all of that.  They deserve to see their angelic presence in our lives.  I don't want their hearts to be broken, but I know they are.  And so mine breaks too and I can't look away from all of that.  I can't mend that piece of me because adoption is both breathtakingly beautiful and undeniably broken.  Every single one.

Visits like this one bring all those conflicting and complimentary emotions to the front lines for me. Some day Squirt will see the brokenness in her story too, but for now it's just who we are and the way God created our family to be.  I don't doubt that plan for one millisecond.  That little girl was created to be right where she is.  But that doesn't take away the brokenness.  We discuss the complexity of it all in simple terms and she nods her head. We don't over-highlight how special she is for being adopted.  It's just her story and we embrace it for exactly that.  Her story.  We celebrate our family in all its forms and she gets it in a 4 year old format.  

Squirt's birth mom now has a large tattoo on her right arm.  It's a clock - a really artsy looking clock. The time on the clock is 11:35pm.  I've noticed it in past visits and suspected it had great significance to our story, but I wasn't able to confirm my suspicion.  Her mom confirmed it for me on Friday.  It does read 11:35pm.  The time Squirt was born.  And the lines running through it are tree roots. Family roots.  Really beautiful, intertwining, thorny, smooth, connected and broken family roots.
We may not talk more than once every year, but we're all rooted in hidden depths deep enough to keep family trees alive.

The zoo will now hold a new appreciation and significance in my heart.  Just maybe not on 90 degree days.