September Rylanisms

I picked Dude up from after school Science Camp today. As we walked out the teacher reminded him that he is to work on not making wolf sounds and actions next week. In the car I asked him about that behavior and he said, "MOM. I was NOT being a wolf at science camp. That is not true." I asked him why she said that and he replied with, "I was a being a Tiger Mom. That is very different than a wolf."  By all means let me set the teacher straight on that one.

On the way to our new therapy tonight, I explained to Dude that we're going there to help his ticks and to make the right side of his brain grow really strong.  We talked about how ginormously strong his left side is and that his right side needs to catch up.  He thought for a minute and said, "Well, my lego neurons must be on the left side then."  Oh how true that is buddy.  So many wonderful things are on the left side of your beautifully complex little brain.

Dude and I were talking about having friends over for dinner Friday night.  I was explaining who their kids were and said, "Bella is the little girl who is always playing with Marin."  He said, "Well Mom, that's not true.  Bella goes home to sleep so she's not ALWAYS with Marin."  And you're right.  Pardon my exaggeration.  

Dude recently read me a story about a little boy who refused to clean his room and bought a robot to do it so he wouldn't have his computer taken away. The boy steps on the remote, causing the robot to go crazy and makes an even bigger mess. The story doesn't end well for the little boy. I ask him what choice the boy should have made to avoid his punishment and he replies, "Well, first he should have gotten a robot with better buttons and he should have been more careful with that remote." My son is in the details. No big picture over here friends.

Dude gets off the bus yesterday saying, "Mom! Bob and Steve are DEAD. I hope they fainted, but probably they're dead." I stare at him with wide eyes, awaiting an explanation and he says, "Hello Mom. Bob and Steve are the class crickets and Steve was my favorite. That is my frustrating part of the day."

To the family next to us at Wahoos last night. "Hi, I'm Rylan and I'm 7. I'm in 2nd grade. We do NOT study about Jesus at my school but we do a WHOLE LOT of math. Math, math, math, blah, blah, blah." And there you have it random family.

I recently heard this in the next room..."Dear God, can you PLEASE make me Spiderman? That's all I need to do is wish right? And please make Mommy Superwoman. I'll ask for her."

"Mom, Grant (kid in his class) smokes."  "What????  What are you talking about?"  "He does Mom.  Like you know, he put a cigarette in his mouth and SMOKES it.  Mr. Olsen says he needs to stop."  I couldn't let this one go.  He seemed so sure.  I say, "Ok bud.  Let's talk about this more.  What was happening when Mr. Olsen said he needs to stop smoking?"  "Grant was doing his froggy voice like all low and Mr. Olsen says he always sounds like that so he better stop smoking those cigarettes.  He did NOT wink Mom, so he's telling the truth."  Oh my sweet literal son.  I did explain the joke and he no longer tells people about Grant's early set smoking habit.