8 Years Ago

8 years ago today....I didn't even know about you.  I didn't feel you kicking and hiccuping inside.  I didn't sing or hum to you throughout my days.  You didn't cause me to crave pickles or ice cream or bacon.  I didn't have dance parties with you in my belly.  I didn't anticipate labor pains and cutting your umbilical chord.  I DID think about you and pray fervent prayers for you, knowing you were out there somewhere.  I DID close my eyes and long for the ability to sing or hum to you.  I did believe, with all my yearning heart, that I would feel you kick and hiccup in my arms.  I DID trust that God would bring us together and form a bond like nothing I could have dreamed up.

Today, I know you.  All of you.  I understand you more intricately than I can put into words.  I see your baby blues, I hear you sing to me the songs I sang to you as a bald, blue eyed monkey.  I know your hiccup and the flavor of ice cream you prefer.  I've studied you and grown with you and dedicated my life to allowing you the chance to be known for who you were created to be.  God matched us  - wove us - into a relationship we both desperately needed.  I needed you Dude.  For so many reasons that have been made known to me and other reasons I'm not even yet aware of.

Happy 8th birthday to my magical, creative, imaginative, sweet natured, hilarious, Jesus loving, literal, inventive, musical, social, kind, well-intentioned, brilliant, quirky, goofy, observant, curious, clumsy, ravenous, squeaky, cautious, distracted, vegetable eating, animal loving and animal fearing, one of a kind son.  I adore you Dude, when you smile your cockeyed toothy smile and when you drive me out of my sane mind.  I'm so very glad you're mine.

This shot, taken by Amy DeYoung, is my very favorite.  It's an amazing representation of my relationship with my Dude.  Helping him run through the weeds, holding him and pushing him along to avoid the scratchy grass.  My focus is on helping him learn how to run through the textures life puts in front of him.  This is framed in my office.  Thank you Amy.