My Healthy Epiphany -for now.

Are you ready for this kids? Sit down. Yesterday, I had an epiphany. And I acted on it. My Honda Pilot took me to our rec center. Despite my rebellion, she parked herself, I took a deep breath, got out, walked into the rec center and before I knew it, I was working out. I know. I still don't believe it myself. But it happened. And before I stepped onto the elliptical machine, I found myself purchasing a 15 punch pass, ensuring that I WILL return to do it again. At least 14 more times to be exact. The hope it that I will complete those 15 sessions and then purchase some more, but my better half insists in seeing proof before we purchase more pudding.


As I worked out, this is what I witnessed around me, making me feel a bit humiliated that this was the first time my butt entered those healthy doors. In front of me on treadmills were 4 senior citizen (like over 70) cute little men. One was in khakis, a tucked in dress shirt and white sneakers. The other was in tight jeans, loafers and white socks with a tucked in denim shirt. The other 2 had baggy sweatpants (tapered at the bottom) with tucked in t-shirts. So cute right? They worked out the entire time my 31 year old frame did and were breathing much more steadily than I. My heart raced at the mere thought that their hearts were probably in better shape than mine. So pathetic. I picked up my pace and vowed that this day was the first day of my initiative to get in shape.

Dude will also be getting in shape here soon. We just registered him for soccer lessons at our local park. This is mainly for our entertainment value, but I'm sure he'll do lots of running too. I'll definitely be taking video of his first "game." He'll also be taking swimming lessons in April to ensure that Mommy will not have to hold him every second of our pool visiting experiences this summer. What is Daddy doing to get in shape? Well, he went on a business trip last week and ate three 5 star restaurant dinners in a row. He was so full that he hasn't eaten much since getting home. That's something, right?

Vacuums in Dude's Bed

We heard a "thump" last night at 2:00am, followed by a tiny but extremely urgent plea for Mommy and Daddy's help. Dude's door was open by the time we bolted from bed to rescue him. What were we rescuing him from? Vacuums. Bad, scary vacuums hiding under his pillow. Dude had his first nightmare. And Tim and I tried our darnest not to laugh in the midst of the drama. It was terrifying for him, but really quite endearing for us.

Our hysterically crying little man clutched me, legs wrapped tightly around my waste, stuttering about the scary vacuums in his pillow and refusing to step foot near his big boy bed. For fear he would turn to dust and be eaten whole. We finally turned on the light so he could see the lack of vacuums - it took him a very confused minute of looking around before he realized that there were no actual dust eating machines in his bed. Then he decided it would be appropriate to go play cars and puzzles at 2:00am. Or perhaps go to bed in Mommy's bed. We refuse to break our tradition of never allowing him sleep in our bed, so I laid with him for 30 minutes, scolding the vacuums and telling them to go far, far away. Eventually I was permitted to exit and the remainder of the night was vacuum free.

As I just left his room after tucking him in he said, "Don't let da bed bugs or loud vacuums bite." I think I'll ward off vacuuming for the next few days.

Catch Phrases from the Week

Not related to this post, but this is what I saw when I walked down the stairs this morning.

Here are some of my favorite "dudeisms" from the week....

*With a pout on his face, he says, "Mommy, when is Santa Claus comin' to town?"

*As I wrap dude in a pink and white towel at the rec center pool yesterday, neighbor friend Riley says, "Why is Ryan (she doesn't recognize the "l" in his name) in a girl's towel?" 2 seconds later, dude drops the towel, looks at me sternly and says, "I don't WANT a girls towel."

*Tim gave duder dinner last night. As I walk in the door, I ask him what he had for dinner. He replies, "Ahhhh waffles from the astronaut." Mmmm. I know he doesn't get waffles for dinner, so I asked again. I got the same response and he informed me that the waffles were brown. Tim looked at me like I was verbally illiterate for not understanding my child's language. 10 minutes later I gave up and Tim informed me that he ate "falafel from the restaurant." Right. Who wouldn't have understood that one.

*As we pass the liquor store, he says, "Dares the lick store Mommy!" I didn't get it for a couple minutes and then utter inner embarrassment set in. Seriously, my kid knows about the liquor store already? I guess we'll take solo trips there from here on out.

*Potty training is going very well, but we've had to sit on the red bathroom rug for what seems like 40 hours this past week. Today he surprised me and said, "Mommy, don't watch me!" I turned around and he said, "Mommy, go downstairs by Daddy!" I left, he did his business and announced that he was done and ready to do the potty dance. Yes, we still do the potty dance. Every time. It's a beautiful thing when kids start viewing using the facilities as something you want to do privately.

*As we're leaving day care, he turns around and says, "Lesa, tanks for all the yummy milk today!" What can I say. The kid LOVES his milk.

*At dinner last night with friends, dude pulled 3 year old Emma aside and said, "Emma, Ewic got a big red owie at Wylan's house." She didn't seam to care, so he told her, louder this time. Do you think the kid was traumatized by Eric's incident in our basement. I think so. That was over a week ago and he still tells everyone he sees.

*We toured Daddy's office for this first time last week. All this time he has thought Dad works at the zoo. Fortunately, Tim's office has an endless supply of M&M's, which made up for the lack of monkeys and zebras. Every office he passed, he stopped, asked "What's YOUR name?" They would tell him and he would say, "Ok, bye lady!"

Bribing Your Children is Okay.

Each month I look forward to the arrival of my Parents Magazine. Not for the advice on the cool 168 step crafts to do with your kids. That stuff just depresses my non-crafty self. But they have some fun articles that tend to reaffirm that you're not alone in this world of parenting. Here are a few of my favorites from a recent article, "39 Things Every Mom Should Know."



1.Don't beat yourself up if you have to use a bribe.

The concept of beating myself up has never occurred to me. I use bribes at every meal time.

2.Teach them to pump on the swings ASAP

True dat! Tim and I fight like school children over who gets swing duty every time we visit the park.

3.I know you're supposed to use natural consequences to punish bad behavior, but sometimes it's hard to think of natural consequences. In these cases, try threatening your kids with clipping their toenails or trimming the hair around their ears.

Love this. I think I'll try it today - dude cringes at the sight of his nail clippers.

4.Don't administer a punishment that hurts you more than it does them.

Does that mean I shouldn't have taken him home after he pinned our neighbor friend against the wall so he could get to the puzzles first? Because I really didn't want to go home yet.

5.Do not allow the word "wienies" in your home.

Agreed. 100% agreed. I would add "wiener" to that list. We use "peeps." It just seems so much "cooler and hipper."

6.It's fine to brag about yourself to your kids.

If dude tells you how beautiful and intelligent I am, this did NOT come from me. He comes up with this stuff. All on his own.

7.Put band-aids on everything your kids want you to. Why not?

There's nothing cuter than a kid with 8 tweetie bird band aids on. I haven't introduced band aids yet. Our kid is WAY too cautious to even need such a thing.



Thanks to Parents Magazine for approving all of my negative parenting traits.

A Valentines Message from the Dude

It's Valentines Day

and I just wanted to say

That I think you're really swell

and I love to ring my door bell

Today I wore red

and I did a lot of jumping on my bed

I hope you felt a lot of love

and that nobody gave you a shove

It's time for dinner now

Old McDonald had a cow.

Love,

Dude

Musical Heaven

Dude loves music. His birth mom told us from day #1 that he would dance around in the womb whenever music played. We smiled, not thinking much of it. But boy was she right. This kid has rhythm. And when music is playing, he can not for the LIFE of him, sit still.

Maria and I took the love birds to a Tiny Tots Orchestra concert on Wednesday. Musicians sit around a huge room and 600 children fill in the middle. Dude talked about cellos and drums all the way there. He must truly digest Little Einsteins because I'm pretty sure we've never had a discussion about cellos. We sat right next to a poor woman trying her darndest to play the violin (dude got in her bow's way a few times). Most of the children sat calmly in their parent's laps or on the floor. Not my kid. He danced slowly for the slow music and jammed to the fast music. He laughed, yelled at them to play the "I love you" song, pretended to play the drums, tried getting Riley to dance with him, clapped after every selection....he was in musical heaven. And I had no desire to tame him. It was a beautiful, beautiful thing.

Riley was one of the well behaved children. Good thing since 8 month prego Maria can't move too quick these days.

Ewic's Red Owie

As I type, Tim is sitting in the ER. As moral support. And for tonight's prayers, dude skipped blessing Mom and Dad and went directly to blessing Ewic and his red owie. You may be wondering what Ewic's red owie is. Let me tell ya. I apologize if you don't think this is a funny story. I happen to think it's hilarious. Sorry Eric.

Our friends Eric and Megan came over tonight with little one year old evil genius Jack. Eric, the dad, loves resorting to child-like tendencies and wrestles, plays swords and rolls around with the dudes. They LOVE it. Well, tonight he went a little overboard in his excitement for acting like a kid and ran, headfirst at about 86 miles per hour, into our basement beam. He hit the deck. Hard. The blood followed shortly after. As did his need to sit down. Dude was quite traumatized by all of this and kept squeaking about Ewics red owie and Ewic fell down very big and Ewic head is hurting. Jack just kept saying, "Uh Oh. Uh Oh."

And so Tim took Mr. Eric to the ER and Megan took Jack home to bed. Tim will be there for moral dude support if they need to shave his head. You see, Eric's ridiculously thick head of hair is a part of him that he does NOT want to part with. I'll make sure to post a photo if they do shave it all off. So, tonight we bless Mr. Eric and his red owie. Sure hope your head doesn't throb too bad tomorrow friend, but I'm kinda thinking you're gonna feel like a freight train ran straight through your skull.

Ewic's hair, pre running full speed into the wall. We'll see what it looks like tomorrow.

Blast off to Cago!

We set our sights on Chi-town this past weekend. A quick trip, but SO worth it. On Friday morning, we boarded Charlie the Cougar (our Frontier airplane) for a flawless flight. Dude loves soaring through the sky like a rocket ship (for the first hour and a half) and then wants OUT. We spend much time washing our hands in the closet they call a bathroom and wasting way too many paper towels.

Highlights from our mini vacation -
*Touring where Uncle Kyky mixes drugs (he works for a pharmaceutical company).

*Running around the Shedd Aquarium with my entire fam, attempting to navigate through the crowds.

*Following four months of oohing and ahhing at pictures, we finally met our new, perfect nephew, Hudson.


*After getting an emergency miracle ear infection prescription from a dear friend in Chicago, dude was able to enjoy play time at Uncle Nick and Aunt Caylei's house and some (but not enough) quality time with Grandma V. In the midst of the ear infection drama, we didn't even haul out the camera:(
*Cousin Dylan ("Didi" as dude coined him) had us cracking up with his big personality and catchy little giggles.

*A short but much needed visit with our friends the Riegers-we were finally able to meet their hiiiiilarious little duo, Charles and Lewis. Seriously, can you get much cuter than these two?



*A Monday morning mini visit with my childhood buddy, Ernose. Sorry it was so lame girl. We'll set our sights higher next time.
*Duder making friends with the crabby TSA ladies at Midway. As they grunted us through the line, he stopped and said, "Hi ladies! What's YOUR name? My name Wylan." Their grump suddenly disappeared and smiles emerged. Way to go dude.

Much more fun and excitement took place in the midst of those highlights. We can never fit everyone in that we want to, so each trip we try to see someone new. It's tough taking the dude away from grandparents who are so madly in love with his charm and charisma:) Thanks for a great weekend everyone. Love and miss you much.

Pappa bought a cake for the weekend and naturally dude thought it was a birthday party for him. So we went with it.

Uncle Kyky loves his little dudes. And vice versa.

Dude and Don (the plumber)

On Tuesday evening, we planned on coming home, eating some delectable ham n brie panini sandwiches, giving the dude a bath and haircut, all while gearing up for the premier of our television weak spot, LOST. It was gonna be a great night. In theory.

Instead, this is what happened.....
I picked up the dude, who had gone accident free ALL DAY! Yeah dude! Many dances and cheers took place on the car ride home. The high point of the night. Within 10 minutes of arriving home, I discovered liquid. First was the newly forming pond in the corner of our basement. More like a marsh - a marsh that smelled like a hamster cage. While I crawled around the basement, looking for evidence of perhaps a ginormous cup of water that spilled (wishful thinking), I hear this from the kitchen, "Mommy, I peeing in pants!" Exit the marsh and enter clean up pee mode. We ran upstairs, stripped off all clothes and put on a fresh pair of elmo roos. Back downstairs to investigate the marsh.

10 minutes later...Tim is home and is observing the basement with the same look of shock and fear that I had. Dude runs by, yelling something about poop in his pants. Awesome. Momma's patience had started to dissipate at that point. Poor dude.

It's now Thursday...as I type this, the carpet man is laying new padding and nailing down the dried out carpet. He detects water in the wall, but not worth ripping out the drywall. THANK YOU Mr. Carpet man. Last night, we were blessed with the presence of Don, the plumber. For 5 hours, dude got to hang with Don. They became best friends. Don had tools. Loud tools. And that made the Dude giggle with glee. We had to draw pictures of Don, invite Don to have an M&M party with us, shared our dinner with Don, sang songs for Don....it was a good night for the dude. And for our plumbing. The marsh is dried up and all is well with our humble abode.

Dude and Don, the plumber.

Dude asked daddy to draw Don the plumber. This was the end product. Mommy & Daddy are at the table, eating. Dude is helping Don. Don has a hammer, drill, a tool box, a light, a cup of juice and a map. Just like Dora.

For you viewing enjoyment:)

Soon He'll be Growing Armpit Hair

We've chosen a preschool. Our kid is going to preschool. All of this sounded great and emotionally, no bigee...until I went and toured the school last week. Here is an excerpt from an email I sent to my mom that afternoon.

" I toured a preschool this morning. Weepy me. My little man can't be big enough to go to school. It's in a BIG school Mom. He'll walk in the hall with BIG kids. My little half pint. And it's bright and colorful and super fun. And there's little tables and structure and big potties. And lots of learning takes place. And he goes outside for recess. Recess Mom. He's going to love it and next thing I know he's going to be in Kindergarten, learning how to read and we won't be able to spell things in front of him anymore. And then he's not going to want to snuggle with me anymore and then he'll start growing arm pit hair and kissing girls other than me. And I won't be able to send him to his room when he's being naughty because he'll automatically go there and slam his door after school (just like I did). And he'll listen to weird music and we'll have to let him since he'll be "discovering" himself. God better give me a baby soon or Rylan's going to be forced to remain my little baby far longer than is appropriate."

Really, I am pretty excited about the preschool thing. But it did make this Momma a bit weepy to see evidence of her little dude becoming not so little anymore. Enjoy each day and each moment...even the moments that involve puddles and pee and poop terds on my kitchen floor. Sighhhhhh.

"Ready or not Momma! Here I come!"

PS...check http://www.expectingminusthebabybump.blogspot.com/ for an adoption video update.