A Whole Lotta Women. A Whole Lotta Faith

I'm constantly searching for ways to grow my faith.  To step outside of myself and my pre-determined schedule and ponder what should be important to me.  Given the fact that I'm typically looking for these opportunities with my eyes half open, they don't "pop up" very often.  This weekend I had an opportunity thrown directly into my lap.  And so I said yes and joined a group of women from our church to be part of the massive "Women of Faith" conference at the Pepsi Center. 

I'm gonna be honest - I thought I was in for a cheesy, "I love Jesus," fest.  That's just not me and so my expectations were moderate to say the least.  After 2 full days of listening to speakers, singing praise to God and being in the midst of 10,000 women of faith, women considering faith and women coming into faith, I'll admit openly that I've never been so off base.  This weekend was what I've been longing for.  It was emotional and inspirational and humbling and a reminder of just how good life is when you compute God into your daily equations.  Into your soul.  Into your actions.  Into your parenting.  Into your marriage.  Into your friendships.  Into your moments of change and your decisions and your desires. 

I've grown up a Christian all my life, which I sometimes find to be a detriment.  I take God for granted and fit him in when I have time and when it's convenient.  I don't know of the "fire" that's lit under people's butts when they first find Christ.  I envy people whose pants are on fire.  But I'll tell ya - after sitting at the Pepsi Center all weekend, eating $5 popcorn and drinking $7 soda, I walked out of there yesterday feeling humbled and calm and grateful and eager to start improving my oh so broken self. 

Every single woman in that arena had a story filled with brokenness and pain and joy and celebration.  Every single woman in that arena needs grace, both from God and from me.  And that means that every single human being I interact with or bump into or vomit out road rage upon in my day to day has a story filled with brokenness and pain and joy and celebration.  Every single person I interact with day to day needs grace.  From God and from me.  And if they don't feel it from God - if they're not in a place where that makes any sense to them, then they need it from me.  My actions need to represent the grace of God.  My actions need to show people that it's okay to be broken and that I'm broken too.  It's okay to be angry and sad or happy and joyful.  I am too.  We're all in this mess of life together and God put us here to extend his grace and love and joy to those around us.  That's what matters.  And if I don't stop putting the weight of the world on the things that don't matter in the least, then I'm gonna continue to miss all the opportunities for small miracles that will leave a lasting impact.   

I need to slow down.  I need to take deep breaths.  I need to look at my kids as little miracles and blessings rather than little rascals.  I need to smile at the unpleasant clerk behind the customer service desk.  I need to watch my tongue.  I need to speak when I'm afraid to speak and shut my trap when I'm itching to be heard.  I need to listen more.  I need to stop obsessing about having a clean house.  I need to stop rushing my Dude and be okay with being 4 minutes late.  I need to practice patience.  Oh do I need to practice patience.  I need to talk about God more.  I need to be proud to talk about God more.  I need to hold off on sarcasm when it's not productive - that's gonna be a tough one for this queen of sarcasm.  I need to ask forgiveness when my choices suck.  And I need to apologize when I make mistakes.  I need to pick up the Bible and learn why it is that I believe what I believe. 

This list is a good start for this broken 30 something.  When it comes down to the nuts and bolts of it, I just want God to look at me and say, "A valiant effort my daughter.  Keep growing."  Because if I can accomplish that, I know I'll be leaving a legacy with my friends, family and complete strangers worth leaving.  My non-fiery butt will be at that conference again next year.  Who knows, maybe I'll walk out in flames.  Any thing's possible.     

This was the line up.  Patsy Clairmont, a fiesty oldish woman who had me peeing my pants and crying like a babe, all in the same 10 minute interval.  Blair, from Facts of Life spoke (her real name is Lisa), Amy Grant perfomed a little Baby Baby and some newer stuff, Sandi Patty spoke and sang her little lungs off...you wouldn't believe the stories these women had to share.  Heartbreaking and humbling and inspiring.