Be Still My Heart

My mom arrived last week in order to join our fam for a 3 day trip to a Wyoming Dude Ranch.  I've been looking forward to getting the heck outta town for weeks, but I had no idea how much we would all fall in love with life on the ranch.  We've been home for over a week and I'm still gloomy about the fact that we couldn't ditch suburbia and stay there.  Forever.  What made us fall so deeply for this 300,000 acre sanctuary of bliss?

 The above photos are from a cattle ranch 20 minutes outside the dude ranch.  The kids were picking up cow pies (knowingly) and chucking them in the stream.  And then subsequently licking their hands.  I threw my intuitions out the window at that point.  Everything was fair game.  Poop and all.  

 This is to warn you of the airstrip you're above to drive over.    

 Our home away from home.  Directly over a rushing river.  Come on.  

Below are countless (I apologize) images of the highlight of the weekend for my dear son.  This child is afraid of rolypolys but fell head over heels in love and adoration with the 120 horses on the property.  He would talk to them, pet them, feed them, brush them, giggle at them....I've never seen him so immediately drawn to a creature with no qualms or fears.  We were blessed with a 2 hour period of time with Miss Lynne (his cowgirl).  She gave him a one-on-one with the horses and allowed him a chance to learn how to ride and lead horses around the pen.  He was over the moon and did so well.  So, forgive on onslaught of photos.  It was a rather special weekend for the Dude.  

 These front 2 white horses would not leave each other's side.  Dude rode one of them and the other needed to be tied up to watch.  It was darling. 

He loved him his cowgirl.  At first he referred to her as "his farmer."  We educated him at that point.

 

 

Home, home on the range.  Where the deer, the antelope, my children, the horses and the chicken play.  Where seldom is heard a discouraging word or a whine or a screaming cry.  And the skies are not cloudy all day.  And people make us food.  And clean the dishes.

A big part of me feels like God intended life to be like what we experienced here.  I have a better understanding of the passion so many people feel for a rural way of life.  No TV.  No Internet.  No cell service.  No skyscrapers.  No pollution.  No video games.  No Walmart.  No traffic.  Everything there was as it's meant to be.  Free and endless entertainment for kids -the young ones and the adult ones. Natural, relaxed and unbelievably beautiful.   Of course it's not for everyone, but I felt so incredibly at peace and happy there.  I couldn't run errands or get on Facebook, so I didn't.  I long to go back and wonder if some day we might just find a plot of land in Sedalia or Evergreen by a stream and call it a day.  Weirder things have happened.    

  

Baseball - Kinda

We signed Dude up for T-ball last summer with our bud Brady, but were quite disappointed with the lack of coaching, learning or playing of baseball for that matter.  It was totally appropriate that our son would lay in the outfield counting blades of grass or run from first base to third.  Those type of actions were kinda the norm.  This year we decided to get serious.  We registered the boys for a more expensive, more "get down to it" league and Wes and Tim signed up as the coaches.  This is good.  Accept for the fact that talking to rolly pollies in the infield, standing still on first base to force an out so he can go get a drink and running in circles around first base so he can't get tagged "out" become faux pas rather than average and cute behavior.

I decided not to do this blog at the beginning of the season in hopes that there would be improvement.  And I'm happy to report that there has been.  He's hitting the ball (it's coach pitch), running when he's supposed to (75% of the time), paying attention about 60% of the time in the outfield, cheering for team mates and wearing the catchers gear with pride.  Strides are being made.  Uncle Wes has been an awesome and very very patient head coach.  He has come to understand that if dude is in the field, there's no getting around the fact that he'll attempt conversations about thunderstorms and the structure of his jaw bone.  After all, it is Dude we're talking about.  And these are all reasons we love him.

 There's always boogs to be picked, right?  

 Now, THAT is our Dude.

This is our very first at bat.  He ended up with a great hit off the tee.  It just took some time.  At bats have improved too.

 Bradster sports some awesome sporty glasses on the field. 

Tim does a whole lot of this.

Is baseball going to be a career aspiration for our little man?  It's kinda like asking if pigs are going to start flying out of my left nostril.  No, no they're not.  But that's just fine.  Dude has tons of talents that we're encouraging him to utilize.  For now we're happy with teaching team work, perseverance and not wrestling our team mates to get our hands on the ball.

Angry Locks

Many of you have already been stunned and perhaps startled by the angry bird on the back of my son's toe head.  I'm still startled every time he turns around and I've been looking at him for the past week.  For the past 6 months, our angry bird obsessed son has been begging to get an angry bird carved into his scalp by our uber talented hair stylist, Brandon.  Brandon is the man.  He's constantly booked and does a lot of "hair designs."  I don't imagine many of his clients are blond haired, blue eyed, 6 year old boys, but who's keeping track.

I have been very adamant in my "NOs" over the course of his begging, but something must have been in the water last weekend that caused me to shrug my shoulders and say "Whatever.  Let's do this thing."  And so we made an appointment and did it.  And he thought he was the king shit.  Sorry, no other accurate way to put it.  I came across as a super cool, relaxed mom as he sat in the barber chair, but the second I watched the eyebrows being trimmed out, I cringed (outloud I'm afraid) and swore this would be the first and last time for hair art.  And, despite the constant adoration he receives from the general public,  I'm holding to that.  One more week until the bird (or some might refer to it as a pumpkin) will be disguised by his growing locks.  Or so we hope.

We're just grateful that this event came at a time when he was crazed with Angry Birds and not Rapunzel.  

 Before.

 Obviously after.

He's still so darling.  From the front.

Our Light

Tim and I have learned a few things about faith this past year.  Life hasn't been as we planned it to be.  Highs and lows have brought us to the place we are now.  Fortunately, God has landed us at a rather amazing place and has issued reminders of his grace throughout our process.  I wasn't going to blog about all of this.  We've kept a lot of it private, but I would be remiss not to give virtual credit to a God who has knocked our socks off.  And it's my hope that others can read this and find hope and strength through our experience.

At this time last year we were making the decision to send Dude to a local christian school and we were all getting really excited about becoming a part of that family.  We figured our quirky little man would be the monkey of the classroom and his social being would bring joy wherever he went. His teacher would see his creative brain at work and would marvel at his level of understanding and intelligence.  Okay, maybe that's a slight exaggeration, but you get the picture.  He started out his Kindergarten year with gusto.  We were so pleased with everything that came with his experience as a student.

About a month into his year, his teacher started pointing out areas of concern.  Lack of focus, inability to finish work, not wanting to be touched, nervousness in loud or new situations, blurting out whatever is on his mind.....we started to feel bombarded with week after week of negative meetings.  We were completely caught off guard.  These areas of concern weren't foreign to us, but they were never bad enough that we were concerned.  School seemed to heighten them.  After a rather gut wrenching time of conferences and feeling incredibly discouraged and helpless, we were asked to fill out a sensory integration disorder profile.  A what?  We had no clue what this language meant.  It wasn't until we started filling it out that it all became clear.

"Does your child tire easily?  Does your child have a hard time carrying heavy objects?  Does your child have a difficult time with more than 1 step directions?  Does your child have trouble touching items with textures or messy foods?  Does your child have a keen sense of hearing?  Does your child flinch when touched unexpectedly?  Does your child get easily distracted?  Does your child express discomfort when having nails clipped, hair washed and teeth brushed?"  Um....yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes and yes.  Tim and I looked at each other in awe.  We could see the light bulbs going off in each other's heads.

At the end of 3 months of drama of testing, praying, filling out paperwork, endless meetings and research, our little man was diagnosed with Sensory Integration Disorder and ADD.  He tested off the charts in 3 of the 5 areas of sensory integration.  It became clear that our school was not going to offer the resources to help our little man conquer his struggles.  They don't have funding for occupational therapists or aids and it was clear that his teacher didn't know what to do with him.  He could feel that tension.  And that broke our hearts.

We toured our local public school and discovered that they're all geared up for kiddos with sensory issues. It's old hat for them.  No bigee.  We walked in to the meeting with the principal thinking we might consider transferring him the following fall and by the time we finished the tour, we were in discussions of transferring him the following week.  And that we did.  Was it easy?  Absolutely not.  We were freaked out to put it mildly.  But it was what God was calling us to do.  Dude confirmed that when he jumped off the couch after being told that he was going to a new school and said, "Thank you Mom and Dad!  This is the best day of my whole life!"

We struggled with the idea that God could be calling us to remove our child from Christian education, but a number of events took place that have solidified that decision in our minds and our hearts.  God placed people in our lives in remarkable ways.

*One family we randomly had over for dinner has a son with Sensory issues.  They were pulling out of our school and enrolling in their local public school.  This family has started sending their son to the same occupational therapy clinic that we had just interviewed.  They were able to confirm how wonderful the clinic is and the amazing results they were seeing.
*Our new principal who helped guide us on our journey is a faithful Christian and the wife of a pastor.  She recommended our clinic, double confirming its credibility.  She has been a blessing and an advocate to us in so many ways.
*A dear friend who lives on our street and has a depth of knowledge about sensory issues ended up being his teacher's aide.  She was with him, literally holding his hand, through his transition.  Talk about blessings.  She was a visible angel to Dude and to us.  She was what we needed to feel peace with our decision.
*His new teacher met him where he was at and never once had a negative word to say.  He fit in immediately and had a fabulous remainder of the year.  Did he have attention issues and sensitivity to sensory situations?  Of course he did.  But it wasn't a big deal.  And he felt comfortable, rather than alienated.
*Someone close to our kids, who spends a significant amount of time with them, explained to us that she had sensory integration struggles growing up and did the same therapy we have Dude in.  She told us that she always felt a special bond with him and was so touched to find out why.  That one brought me to my knees.

One year ago we had never heard of Sensory Integration Disorder.  We wouldn't have dreamt that Dude would be attending our public school.  We couldn't have imagined spending the amount of money and time we are for occupational therapy.  But today, we're a wealth of knowledge of SID and have met a ridiculous amount of people who have experience with it.  We're loving our local public school.  And we're happy to be spending the time and money helping our Dude cope with what we thought were "quirks."  After a year of therapy, he should be in a place where he can function worlds better in a classroom setting and to the overload of the world around him.

It can be an overwhelming world for little man.  As his parents, we'll go to any length to reduce the chaos he feels and settle his little brain and sensory system down.  God is good people.  In the midst of what you think is going to be a hopeless situation, the brightest light can become visible.  Dude is our light and we're so grateful that we're finally able to have a clear understanding of what life is like through his eyes.

       

If you'd like information about what Sensory Integration Disorder entails, click HERE.      

A Little Heart to Heart

Pardon the cheese you're about the read, but my little man tends to melt my heart.  At moments mind you.   The car seems to be the hot spot for darling commentaries.  I pulled the car over last week and jotted down this conversation on the back of my grocery list in fear that I would forget it.

"Buddy, what are you going to miss most about Kindergarten?" 

"Definitely Principal Ryan.  She doesn't have my "l."  And I'll miss my teachers.  They're so special to me.  But you know who I WON'T miss Mom?  God.  Because he is always with me."

"You're right buddy (heart clench).  I'm glad you know that."

"So, God and Jesus help each other to forgive me right Mom?  They both have forgiveness in their hearts when I make bad choices?  I didn't make any bad choices today Mom."

"Absolutely buddy.  They also give us grace, which means when we make bad choices, they still love us and forgive us.  They love us for who we are, no matter what."

"Well, I give blue puppy a lot of grace."  (He's had blue puppy since he was 4 months old).  Mom, will I be able to do somersaults in heaven?  I would like to be 6 when I go to heaven so I can still run and jump and be a fun kid."

"Sounds like a good plan bud.  I think I would like to be 34 so I can still be your Mom."

"Ok.  Mom, why can't I see Jesus but he can see me?  Will I be able to actually see Jesus in heaven?  Will I be able to touch him?  I can't see my angel either but his name is Gabriel and he's the biggest angel in heaven.  He's as tall as from Texas to that state above Massachusetts."  

This conversation kept going on, but this is all I had time to write down.  My little Dude sure does love him some Jesus.  For that, we're so grateful.

Start Spreading the News

That title will make sense when you watch the video.  No earth shattering news friends. Dude's movin' on to 1st grade!  No more half days for little blondie.  We have so enjoyed and appreciated our time at Dude's new school.  His teachers were amazing blessings to our family and to our little man.  The principal was incredibly welcoming and considerate and resourceful.  We're so grateful that God lead our path there.  Tim and I both witnessed his Kindergarten graduation, which was darling to say the least.  See for yourself.

 It was bittersweet to start summer, knowing these two treasures will no longer hold Dude's hand every day.  

Dude's little face was hidden for a majority of the singing portion of the video, but I think you'll get a charge out of the priceless singing from his classmates.  He's in the back right corner of the group.  My favorite part of the video?  My dear friend Julie's tear filled eyes at the end of the 1st Grade Song.  

 You can't see his jacked up face in this shot!  At least there's one.  

If we made it through this past year with smiles and hugs, we can only imagine next year is going to be even better.  We're really proud of our Dude for transitioning mid year with tons of gleams in his eyes.  Happy Kindergarten graduation Ryguy.

Catchin' Up

My ability to blog regularly has been squashed by a number of schedule related obstacles in our life lately, so here's a catch up in photos for all you lovelies.  You ready for this?

 There's been a whole lotta Lego building round here lately.  Dude was gifted with a number of new sets for his birthday and is rather enamoured with mastering the art of reading directions and creating masterpieces.  He has no desire to keep them assembled when he's done.  It's all about the challenge.  

 The Kindergarten class mascot, George came over for a sleep over one weekday.  We all know and love George, so you can image the excitement at our house that night.  Dude made a special space on his floor for the monkey to rest his banana loving head.  

 Oh the many ways I love this girl.  She stayed like that for an hour.  

 Tim was pleased when I came home from a consignment sale with this beauty.

 Among Dude's interests and budding talents is drawing.  This is his rendition of the Pillsbury Dough Boy.  He has me beat in the art category.  By a mile.  

 Tim and I have been "over-focused" on projects, both indoor and outdoor the past couple months.  We always feel guilty defying the kids of our attention for stuff like this, but we should be done for a while.  We spent one weekend re-mulching the back and front.  Totally worth it much needed.  We like to add new plants each year, slowly but surely.  And we also went on a random Home Depot splurge and purchased a pergola to set up on the patio for more shade.  Losing that massive tree last year killed our shade vibe.  

 And there's this one.  See for yourself.  She's our dainty princess.

 Here's the indoor project I mentioned.  Before, this room was under-used and rather "blah."  The black 80's couch, the random fireplace on the useless blank wall, the 90's TV that was never viewed....bring in Mr. Brad Lanser and bam!  Beautiful space.  We'll slowly get rid of the 80's couch and replace it with new furniture.  The TV was given to the front sidewalk, which swallowed it whole after a "free" sign was taped to it.  Anne and Kevin graciously came over to help us paint, which was much needed as Kevin will tell you.  I'm the queen of drips and Tim has zero tolerance for the task.  Zero.  The walls are now gray and the backdrop of the bookcase is deep gray.  We love.  

 Through our construction process I discovered "Lamps Plus," my new favorite shopping destination.  Oh the beauty.  Lowes and Home Depot don't hold a candle to this place when it comes to lighting.  The lights we chose are my favorite item in the room.  Well, that and the molding above the fireplace.  And the dark gray backing.  I will note, the tile will need to be replaced, much to my husband's chagrin.  

And there's this guy.  He and I got 5 days together when Tim and took Squirt to Chicago last week.  He HAD to stay at the Ritz for 5 days for business meetings and fancy dinners, so my parents took Squirt.  I had my first choir concert for a Denver based choir I've been dedicating a whole lotta time to, so I didn't want to have to deal with four little feet.  Two was just enough.  Especially after Dude plunged off his bike and created what you see below.  Complete road rash. From head to toe unfortunately.  And boy did I hear about it for the first 2 days.  Poor kid couldn't even eat he bit his lip so hard.  It wasn't pretty.  But I'm glad to report that he looks like an average 6 year old again and I no longer get evil looks from strangers.  As if I rubbed his face into the pavement.  Because I was mad.  

Prior to the bicycle incident Dude and I were blessed with a few days full of fun.  We went to a live animal show at the Nature and Science Museum, followed by an absolutely amazing 3D Butterfly iMAX show.  We rented a couple movies, spoiled ourselves at the candy store, ate popcorn, drank chocolate milk, went flower shopping and just hung out together.  We don't get to do that very often when there's a 2 year old Diva in our tracks at all times.  

 That's a sloth.  It was awesome.  And sloth-like.

Squirt had the time of her life at Nana and Papa's for 5 days.  In fact, she's still recovering from the fact that she's not the center of the universe any more.  It's been a shock to her sweet system.  One of the most amazing aspects to Tim's trip was our new precious niece being born, just 2 block from his hotel.  Kira and Ross and our nephews, D and Hudson welcomed baby June Harper into their world.  Tim was the first one to go see her.  How cool is THAT? She's unbelievably beautiful and I can't wait to hold her and get a face to face introduction. 

My awesome nephews made this sign to protect their baby sis.  How sweet is that?  

Mama Day

Mother's Day is a favorite of mine.  Namely because my rockin hubby makes sure I feel appreciated and relaxed.  I basically tell him what I want to do all day and he happily obliges.  We kicked the day off with locks and bagels in bed.  Breakfast in bed sound super romantic  It's really not.  You have nasty breath, need to pee and spend most of the time avoiding spilling capers and blueberries in the sheets.  But it was a lovely gesture none the less and tasted delish.  Dude slept in until 9:00am, so that was a rather unusual blessing.

That morning we packed up the Pilot and headed to Waterton Canyon for a fam hike.  Its been closed for the past couple summers and is a favorite spot of ours.  Why?  It's flat.  Period.  The children do far less complaining that their legs are going to fall off when the terrain is predictable.  Dude brought his bike and we lugged along the massive bike stroller for Squirt.  Totally worth it.  Dude had the time of his life riding free through the beautiful canyon.  It was a gorgeous day and a fantastic outing.  

That afternoon I joined my girly pal, Rachel, for nail time.  Lovely, alone time with our nails.  I typically request this event on Mom's Day.  That night we strolled through the mouthwatering aisles of Tony's Meats and spoiled ourselves (the parents) with delectable steak and fish.  Said items were cooked post child bedtime after they were spoiled with chicken noodle soup from a can.  And cottage cheese mind you.

Last year I posted about all the moms in our world.  There are a lot.  And we adore each of them for different reasons and are proud that they're in still present in ours and our kids lives.  Happy belated Mom's day to our moms, our kids' birth moms, our grandmas and all the fabulous mom friends we're blessed to know.  And love and prayers for all our dear ones who want nothing more than become a mom or miss their mom or never had a mom.  Mother's Day is a bag of worms for a whole lotta women.  I used to be one of them, so my heart goes out to all of you.